About the Spirit of VANCE
VANCE Coin is the satirical digital asset nobody asked for. Inspired by our beloved VP's ability to talk big and deliver… well, nothing. It's here to remind us that sometimes clownish incompetence deserves a blockchain entry too. Like the finest bootleg whiskey, it's born from questionable decisions and dubious promises.
1. Slash Electricity Bills
Trump pledged to cut U.S. electricity prices in half. Reality: bills went up. Physics > promises. Even our bootleg generators are more reliable.
2. Create a Fourth Major Wireless Carrier
Dish was supposed to save us all. Instead, they sold spectrum back to AT&T. Our speakeasy's telegraph works better than that promise.
3. Fund Land Conservation
Funds delayed $287M. Parks waited. Wildlife waited. Vance waited. Meanwhile, we're conserving this fine establishment just fine.
4. Flood Healthcare with Medicaid
Promised no cuts. Proposed cuts. "Big Beautiful Bill" = "Big Brutal Bill." Our house doctor charges less and delivers more.
5. Bring Down Inflation
Promised to end inflation. Delivered tariffs and higher prices. Even our overpriced bootleg bourbon holds its value better.
Q1: Open the establishment. Accidentally misspell "competence" on the door sign.
Q2: Meme campaigns, community growth, maybe a back room where nobody agrees on the password.
Q3: Get listed in the good establishments directory (if the feds don't shut us down first).
Q4: Take over the underground scene… or at least corner the market on political satire tokens.